Our CD udder won is dedicated to our long-lost loves. Behold their stories:
Tim:Rubber Monkey
For my birthday in 1994 (ah the good old days of day-glo pants and Milli Vanilli) Caitlin Shirts (yes THAT Caitlin) gave me a rubber monkey from the mcAfee catalog. I was instantly smitten.
I took RM to a leadership conference I attended shortly thereafter in Cedar City, UT. RM accompanied me on many adventures, and was adored by all, though he was a bit of a cad with the ladies.
One night we found ourselves gallivanting around the college campus in togas. Yes, RM wore one as well. Proudly. We began speaking prophecies out of RM, which was really strange in an industrially-manufactured-fake-animal-Ouija-board kind of way. He was our proud Toga-wearing Oracle. One of the girls pointed out the bizarre and creepy nature of what we were doing, and the rest of us agreed, so we resorted to our previous use of RM, which was seeing how far we could punt him.
At the end of the conference, we all vowed to mail RM around to each other with letters. I sent him off with someone.
The end?
No. I did actually get RM in the mail once. Then I sent him off again, to who knows where.
Post script: I didn't really think about RM until just after I was married. In June 2000 my wife and I drove across the country, and for some reason RM came up, and a song was born. We were probably driving through Missouri? We also nailed a bird at 75 mph with the end of our car antenna. Not on purpose. But that's another story.
RM was first performed on July 4 2000 with Jerry Gish, Andrew Cannon, Rachel Beier, Mark Stringham and myself. So everyone who heard the song on July 4th, I hope you had an anniversary celebration in your heart.
Glen:The Tragic Ballad of William McGonagall
I will now relate the sad tale of an eagle
Who was a loyal friend, e'en moreso than a beagle
Although I knew him only briefly as a child at Lagoon
My heart was quite stricken when he was stolen by some goon
My family had ventured to that famed amusement park
And my brother and I played a fairway game on a lark
Our computer gaming skills served us well in that game
And soon all other players hung their heads down in shame
We then chose our prizes, and he picked a dog
With orange classes, pink hair, and a shirt that said "Hot Dog"
As for my prize of choice, I had my heart set on a gull
But they had none, so I chose fair William McGonagall
That was the name I gave to the stuffed eagle I won
And for the next few hours we all had some fun
O beauteous eagle! Colored blue and white like ice
And your cute fuzzy beak makes one exclaim, "Oh, how nice!"
But soon the great tragedy descended on myself
For I left William McGonagall with my shoes on a shelf
While my brother and I played in a ball-filled pit
And when I returned my heart was quite smit
William McGonagall was no longer there!
No trace remained, not even a hair
My brother's dog remained, and also our shoes
'Twas only the eagle I was destined to lose
And that is the tale of my sad, mournful loss
I omitted no details; over my pain I did not gloss
So let this remind you, my friends with stuffed toys
Never leave them out where they could be abducted by naughty boys
Chris:Mr. Penguin
I made a penguin I made in 2nd or 3rd grade, out of contruction paper and a lunch sack. I couldn't wait to take it home and show it off, and was so pleased and proud of it that I decided not to put it in my back pack for fear it would get crushed and ruined.but on my way home, as I stepped off the bus, a huge wind gust viciously and heartlessly tore Mr. Penguin from my arms and into the field of blackberry bushes...from whence he was never seen again. I cried all all the way home, and all that night.
...I never said I DIDN'T have issues.
Weston:Dear Mon-chi-chi,
How could you leave me?
You never even said "Good-bye".
You never thanked me for the little outfits I made for you.
MON-CHI-CHIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!
Love, Weston
moosebutter:Sassy Cat
We left you in Boston. Bill Hare found you, cared for you, and then mailed you back to us. But then we lost you again.
It's not that we don't care about you. Really. We're just prone to losing things like toy animals, stage props, and hard drives that contain all the recording sessions for our latest CD.