m o o s e b u t t e r

Lyrics

Tim "spunky fertilizer" Jones
   Lead, Baritone, taskmaster, thinker of opaque thoughts.
Glen "fortuitous mantra" Sawyer
   Bass, Baritone, provider of obscure scientific facts.
Weston "groinal pull" Wride
   Lead, Tenor, displayer of freaky fresh dance moves
Chris "operatic indigestion" Harris
   Freaky high tenor, Lead, friend of small mammals.

Add one moose. Blend well, bake at 450° for 25 minutes. Serve with toast.

Album produced by Bob Ahlander and moosebutter.
Album recorded, mixed, and mastered by Scott Wiley at June Audio, Provo, Utah
(www.juneaudio.com)
Cover design by Kent Minson and Tim Y. Jones
Photography by Ryan Mansfield

Moosebutter would like to thank:
God; Becca Sue and Caleb - LOVE YOU! Octavia and Johnathan - LOVE YOU! Those beautiful people willing to support this project; Bob for great Bobness; Scott for the amazing skills; the Provo City Library at Academy Square; Josh Bryant, the originals; substitute moosebutter Andy Yorgason, Andrew Cannon, Brian Shirts, and all other former members; superfans Derrill Watson, John Nielsen, Andrew Cannon, Paul and Jean Jones, Chad, and Mike; Peter Jones and John Chapman for years of great technical and moral support; all the little (and big) kids that get down at our concerts; Bruce and Marnae Wilson for believing in music; April Greenan for believing in dreams; BYU A Capella Club; BYU-Idaho A Capella Club; InsideOut; Voice Male; Tom Woodbury and T Minus 5; Eclipse, Vocal Point, John Neal and the West Coast A Cappella Summit; Utah Arts Festival; Timpanogos Singer/Songwriter Alliance; Karl and Carol Koerner; Blair Sterret.

© 2002 moosebutter. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws. All rights reserved

Tile Lovers of the Universe 0:19
© 2002 Tim Y. Jones. Featuring Weston
Wride. Special guest appearance by
Bob Ahlander as "Shouting Guy #7."

The Happy Tile Cleaner 2:28
© 2002 Tim Y. Jones

Captain Organic Vegetable Man 2:50
© 2002 Tim Y. Jones. Additional music
by Bryant W. Smith and J. S. Slagowski
All animal and vegetable noises by
Weston Wride.

SPAM 1:23
From "The Edifice". Arranged and
adapted by Tim Y. Jones and Brian
Shirts.

Psycho: The Musical 2:59
Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
(ASCAP). Lyrics by Caitlin Shirts,
Megan Knight, and Sandie Padron.
Arranged by Tim Y. Jones.

The Alphabet Song 2:23
The Alphabet Song © Rosenshontz.
Arranged and adapted by Tim Y. Jones.

Star Wars Medley 4:05
Based on material by John Williams
(G.S.O.) and George Lucas. Arranged
by Bryant W. Smith, J.S. Slagowski, and
Tim Y. Jones.

Ghost Chickens in the Sky 2:48
Based on "Ghost Riders in the Sky".
Traditional. Sonic chicken collage by
Scott Wiley and the Chicken. Featuring
Tim Y. Jones on the Fluke M10,
manufactured by The Magic Fluke
Company, New Hartford, CT, USA.

Lion 1:05
Traditional.

Cell Phone 2:07
© 2002 Tim Y. Jones. Introducing Becca
Silva as "The Cell Phone Girl".

The Googies 2:09
Words by Shel Silverstein © 1974
Music © 2002 Tim Y. Jones.

O Pretty Baby 1:50
Bryant W. Smith.

Luck o' the Irish 2:58
© 2002 Tim Y. Jones.

Turkey Dance 3:17
© 2002 Tim Y. Jones.

Jell-O 1:17
Ross Bagdassarian, Jr. (ASCAP).
Arranged and adapted by Tim Y. Jones.

He Met Her on the Stairs 1:08
Traditional.

Spew 2:52
© 2002 Tim Y. Jones

More moosebutter! Show dates!
Booking information! Weston's astrological sign!

www.moosebutter.com

Lyrics

"We had the pleasure of seeing the manic four young men of Utah-based Moosebutter at the recent smash West Coast Summit, first in a showcase concert at Dominican College, and then, by invitation because they were so hilarious, at the Saturday night concert. There are 4 authentic young comic geniuses here, especially Tim Y. Jones, who writes, composes, adapts and arranges practically everything in this CD. There are 17 little delights here, from an ode to tile, 'The Happy Tile Cleaner,' 'Captain Organic Vegetable Man,' 'Psycho: The Musical,' 'The Alphabet Song,' the amazing 'Star Wars Medley' adds words to those deathless heroic theme songs, like 'Kiss a Wookiee, kick a droid, fly the Falcon through an asteroid, 'til the Princess gets annoyed,' 'Ghost Chickens in the Sky,' the very funny 'Cell Phone,' 'The Googies,' 'O Pretty Baby,' 'Luck o' the Irish,' 'Turkey Dance,' 'Jell-O,' 'He Met Her on the Stairs' and 'Spew.' This is funny, brilliant stuff, that wowed 'em at the Summit, with crazed sound effect samples, the kind of material that gets a group on morning shows and stages at the Harmony Sweeps Finals!" ---Primarily A Cappella

"This aspiring pro comedy quartet were the 2003 Bay Area Harmony Sweeps finals runners-up title as well as *almost* the recipients of the CARA award for best comedy album in 2003. They've performed in the ICCA (International Championship of College A Cappella) back when they were affiliated with BYU, but have now moved on to "...swinging our giblets and kicking out the fresh comedic tunes around the country."

The CD musicality is quite solid; the humor is very distinctive and operating in its own universe: "The Happy Tile Cleaner," "Psycho: The Musical" (which won the 2004 CARA award for best comedy song), their own sets of lyrics to the theme from "Star Wars," and one of their longest songs, about vomiting ("Spew"). It should also be noted that PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) sent them a glowing review of "SPAM." ---ACappella.com

Lyrics

There's a sound for every letter of The Alphabet
A sound from you, a sound from me
There's a sound for every letter of The Alphabet
A sound from A to Z

Blah blah blah
Blah blah Zed.

Lyrics

I'm Captain Organic Vegetable Man
I fight against the evilness of pesticides and added colors
If you're organic then you can proudly stand
And shout for Organic Veggie Man

I'm naturally healthy I don't ingest pollutants
And though I might wear some makeup no animals were used for testing
No way would I ever cook with MSG
I'm Captain Organic Veggie Man

"Captain Veggie you're amazing!"
"Time to eat, let's start grazing."

Veggie Man he has Potassium
Ten percent of needed Calcium
Iron
At dinnertime my plate is full of vegetables

Preservatives and Toxins are against my very nature
And genetic engineering of my carrots makes mad
Farmers applaud me they shout and clap their hands
Hooray for Organic Veggie Man!

Lyrics

What's the nerve of you, talking on your cell phone?
Ain't you got nothing better to do, talking on your cell phone?
Walking down the sidewalk, sitting at home with your girlfriend? No end?
I wish you'd put it away that itty-bitty cell phone.

Drive your S.U.V. talking on your cell phone.
Miracle of technology your fancy cell phone.
You're walking around like it's glued to your ear with a ha ha, hee hee.
A new drug with a battery your cell phone.

(Fugue)

In the movie we hear it ring your fancy little cell phone
In the restaurant hear it sing that trendy cell phone
Trade your stocks and buy a new car you're so important.
Cell phone cell phone cell phone cell phone...

Lyrics

A chicken farmer went out on one dark and dusty day
And by the coop he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a rotten egg hit him in the eye
It was the sight he dreaded: Ghost Chickens in the Sky^TM

This farmer had these chickens since he was twenty-four
Working for the Colonel (pronounced "Kernel," eh?)(^TM) for thirty years or more
Raising all those chickens up to send them off to fry
And now they want revenge: Ghost Chickens in the Sky

Their beaks were black and shiny, their eyes were blazing red
They had no meat or feathers - oh! These chickens all were dead!
They raised that farmer up and he died by the claw
They cooked him extra crispy, and served him with cole slaw

So let this song remind you if you want eternal peace:
Don't raise up harmless poultry for to cook 'em up in grease
Remember: don't raise animals that you will some day kill
For a chicken may come haunt you, but Tofu^TM never will.

Lyrics

The Googies are coming the old people say
To buy little children and take them away
50 cents for fat ones
20 cents for lean ones
15 cents for dirty ones
30 cents for clean ones
A nickel each for mean ones

The Googies are coming and maybe tonight
To buy little children and lock them up tight
80 cents for husky ones
Quarter for the weak ones
Penny each for noisy ones
A dollar for the meek ones
Forty cents for happy ones
Eleven cents for sad ones

And kiddies when they come to buy it won't do any good to cry
But just between yourself and I... they never buy the bad ones

Lyrics

I love my tile!!
Use a toothbrush, scrub it clean,
Make it shiny so that it reflects your smile.
And when I'm through,
Go outside and scrub the hallway
Where somebody scuffed it with their tennis shoe.

¡Yo quiero tile!
(Spanish verse, which Weston needs to transcribe here...)

Long time ago back in ancient rome they had tile floors beneath their domes, mosaics big and pretty.
Later on in ancient Byzantine ("tien" like tie) they had a sleek ceramic shine from tile in their city.

Pizza.

Comes from an Italian spot cooked in ovens blazing hot with tile in their belly
And your mothers brand new kitchen floor has high-tech fancy tile galore so messy spills won't rot and get smelly.
If we had no tile, we'd have no (insert things with tile, spoken)
If we had no tile, we'd have no fast food restraunts to make us food.

I love my tile (to end)

Lyrics

He met her on the stairs. 'Twas dark, and so he kissed her.
He said, "I beg your pardon, I thought it was my sister."

He held her dainty hand, quite glad he had not missed her.
She murmered, "Please don't mention it."
Great Scott, it was his sister!

Lyrics

J E L L O
Oh, the big red letters stand for the Jell-O family.
Oh, the big red letters stand for the Jell-O family.
It's Jell-O! Jell-O pudding! Jell-O tapioca pudding, yessiree!

Living in Utah you'll have to grin and bear it 'cuz we like our Jell-O green with shredded carrot.

J E L L O
Oh, I love the way it jiggles when I hold it on my spoon.
Oh, I love the way it jiggles when I hold it on my spoon.
It's happy! Happy Jell-O! Jell-O Gelatin Desserts^TM are very good for me!
Jell-O makes me happy!

Lyrics

You know the freakin' words okay?

Lyrics

One day when I was walkin' back from kissin' the Blarney Stone^TM
I saw walking just ahead a little man, alone
He wore a beard and tiny greenish clothing he had on
I knew at once that I had found my own wee Leprechaun^TM

I marveled at the mighty Irish luck that I had found
And so i started sneakin' up behind with out a sound
But aye, he was a crafty one and he escaped my harm
for he slipped away a moment before I grabbed him by the arm

Now you may not full understand the things that I have told
For if you catch a little man you get his crock of gold
But you be careful, watch him close; be sure to hold him tight
For he'll slip away as quick as the day if you let him out of your sight.

All day long I chased that little man among the trees
He was like a magic kite flittin' on the breeze
Wailing like a Banshee^TM he was always just ahead
'til finally I grabbed him tight and this is what I said:

O Leprechaun^TM your gold, your gold you'll give me
Or I'll be forced to treat you awful bad
And be so kind as to three wishes grant me
Or I will make your wife and children sad

I thought of all the things I'd buy with all that magic cash
But soon my hopes of fortune all this little man did dash
I guess I'm cursed with all bad luck, though I'm not superstitious.
He said: "Ye cannot have my Lucky Charms^TM: they're magically deliscious."

Lyrics

O Pretty Baby I'm begging you please
Your little escapades have me on my knees
There must be something in your bag of dreams
that has something to do with you and me together

O pretty baby it's not hard to see
The kind of wonderful that your are to me
And when I'm with you I just wanna be the kind of guy that you want me to be

You see
There's something in the moonlight that's making my heart race
But if you ever came to me you left without a trace
I wonder what would happen if we were face to face
Might I have that chance someday?
Not likely.

I can't stop thinking it hurts just to try
Your eyes are twinkling like stars in the sky
And when I'm near you incredible high!
But why am I seeing birds in the sky?
She smacked you.

Was it a message or was it a sign
That she was looking for a wonderful time
Or maybe she meant that she would be mine
Oh why the hard-to-get game all the time?

Because
There's something in the moonlight that's making my heart race
But if you ever came to me you left without a trace
And now we know what would happen if we were face to face
It must have been a sign of love

We know that
There's someone in the moonlight that's making our heart race
But if she ever came to me she left without a trace
And now we what happens when we are face to face
She just makes us lose our mind

So
Oh pretty baby I'm begging you please

Lyrics

Norman Bates was just a motel owner
No one liked him
He was such a loner
Through the wall he sees me
An evil plan connives he
I am nude; I get a sudden fright...

"Reee! Reee!"
Was the music in the night.

Chocolate syrup
billows down the bathtub
He used a knife
He did not use a club

Stabbed me through the curtain,
I am dead for certain
The paper cut I got was more than slight

"Reee! Reee!"
Was the music in the night.

Close your eyes
This scene made the movie rated R
Perhaps you had better leave the room
Alfred Hitchcock he made it so intense

I have not been in a bathroom since

Norman Bates he revved up in his Buick,
Drove it into a pond now it's eewww, ick!
He's done this to others,
Now he must tell Mother

"Norman dear, did she put up a fight?"

"Reeee Reeeee"
Was the music in the night

Lyrics

Ingredients:
Chopped pork shoulder meat with ham meat added.
Salt (for binding, flavour, and firmness)
Water (to help in mixing)
Sugar (for flavour)
Sodium Nitrite (for colour and as a preservative)
Yum yum!

Nutrition Information For SPAM (original style):
Calories Per Serving: 170
Calories Per Serving From Fat: 140
Serving Size: 2 oz.
Servings Per Container: 6 (large) or 3.5 (small)
Total Fat: 16g
Saturated Fat: 6g
Cholesterol: 40mg
Sodium: 750mg
Total Carbohydrates: 0g
Fiber: 0g
Sugars: 0g
Proteins: 7g
Vitamin A: 0%
Vitamin C: 0%
Calcium: 0%
Iron: 2%
Deee-licious!

Nifty Spam Trivia!
By World War II, Hormel had sold twenty thousand tons of Spam. Then, during the wartime meat rationing, Spam got popular...
If all the cans of Spam ever eaten were put end-to-end, they would circle the globe at least ten times.
In the U.S. alone, 3.8 cans of Spam "are consumed every second"(assuming SPAM is eaten 24 hours a day, 365.25 days a year).
Senator Robert Byrd of West Viginia eats a sandwich of SPAM and mayonnaise on white bread three times a week.
Residents of Hawai'i eat an average of four cans of SPAM per person per year, more than in any other place on Earth (Elsewhere in the Universe, who knows?).
By 1959, a billion cans of SPAM had been sold. The two billion mark was hit in 1970, followed by three billion in 1980, four billion in 1986, and five billion in 1993. That's a lot of SPAM!
In Korea, SPAM is sold in stylish presentation gift boxes of nine cans each. SPAM stolen from army PXs can be found on the Korean black market. And there are Korean imitations called Lo-Spam, Dak, Plumrose, and Tulip, to ensure that no one need go without.
Nikita Krushchev once credited SPAM with the survival of the WWII Russian army. ''Without SPAM, we wouldn't have been able to feed our army,'' he said.
SPAM is sold in over 99% of U.S. grocery stores.
The SPAM luncheon meat trademark is registered in 93 countries.
Over 60 million people in the U.S. eat SPAM.
SPAM is made in two U.S. locations - Austin, Minnesota, and Fremont, Nebraska - and seven other countries: England, Australia, Denmark, Phillipines, Japan, Taiwan, and South Korea.
In 1989, the U.S. armed forces bought 3.3 million pounds of SPAM.
Over 141 million cans of SPAM are sold worldwide each year.

(Courtesy of http://www.cusd.claremont.edu/~mrosenbl/spamfacts.html)

Lyrics

I think I'm gonna spew
What are you gonna do?
Gonna get that goo
On my new shoe
My meal is through

I thought you oughtta know
I've got some chunks to blow
When up I throw
On Cousin Joe
It'll be quite a show

All my intestinal juices
Are coming back out in the air
They don't like how dark
It is down in there
All my esophageal burning
My tummy inferno
Makes me believe that I'll never keep anything down

The stuff that I drank from this mug
I just put back on your rug
I'll give you a sheepish smile,
'Cause I just went projectile
I hope you don't mind looking at my bile

Our honeymoonin' tropical vacation,
Will soon be spoiled by my regurgitation
Watch where you sit
Beware my spit
Cause it's got a bit of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus that week old piece of pizza that I picked up off the floor

Though the fragrance isn't quite as nice as roses,
And the process isn't very democratic
When your body does its business and disposes,
Arguing won't help
Just let it come
But not on the cat. Ick!

What are you gonna think,
But I swear I haven't had a thing to drink
My stomach starts to sink,
And I start to stink
I hope I didn't stain your real expensive mink

(period of nauseous uncertainty, followed by acceptance into Nirvana... )

(not the band; that would sound entirely different)

Lyrics

[Close Encounters of the Droid Kind]
You must use the force (repeat ad nauseum)

[Raiders of the Lost Wookiee]
Long time ago, far far away (repeat)

Kiss a wookie, kick a droid
Fly the falcon through an asteroid
Till the princess is annoyed
This is spaceships, it's monsters, it's Star Wars, we love it!

Come and help me, Obi-Wan
X-wing fighter and a blaster gun
Dance with Ewoks, oh what fun!
This is spaceships, it's monsters, it's Star Wars, we love it!

[Super Han]
Get in there you big, furry oaf
I couldn't care less what you smell
I take orders from only me
Maybe you'd like it back in your cell
Your Highness, your worshipfulness, your highness, your worshipfulness

No one cares if you upset a droid
(nobody cares if you upset a droid)
That's because droids don't tear your arms out of socket.
(nobody cares)
I suggest a new strategy: let the Wookie win
That's because nobody cares if you upset a droid.

[ET the DiscoTerrestrial]
Now we listen to Luke whining:
One more season... One more season... One more season... One more season...

I was gonna go to Tosche Station for power converters
Now I guess I'm going nowhere.
It just isn't fair.

[Jaws: the Wookiee]
Woooooookiee (repeat)

Someone move this walking carpet (repeat)

Kiss your brother, Kiss your brother (repeat)

Princess Leia
Well I guess you don't know anything about women.

Who's your daddy? (repeat)

[Jurassic Darth]
Luke, I'm your father
(That's not true!)
It is useless to resist
(My hand!)
Come with me my son, We will rule
(I'll never join you!)
Search your feelings it is true

So you have a twin sister
Who Obi-Wan was wise to hide
(Is that Leia?)
If you will not turn
Then perhaps she will
Give in to your hate
You are mine

Long Long Long Time ago... Far Far Far Far Away

Long Long Long Time Ago, Far Far Far Away (repeat)

Kiss a wookie
Kick a droid
Fly the falcon
Through an asteroid
Till the princess is annoyed
(She's annoyed!)
This is spaceships, it's monsters, it's Star Wars, we love it, it's true

Episode 3
Coming to you
In 2005

So Let's go
(go go go to the movies)
Stand in line
(buy buy buy me some popcorn)
Cause it's al-
(please I'd like extra butter)
most the time
(Join the dark side...)
May the Force be with you all

John Williams is the man

Lyrics

Tile lovers of the universe, unite!

(crowd cheering)

Do you love your tile?

(crowd whooping)

Do you love to clean your tile?

(crowd hollering)

Then join with me, brothers!

(crowd vociferating)

Join with me and say...

Lyrics

I found a turkey in my shoe doing a turkey-kind of exotic dance that some other turkey might find attractive but I don't really find it attractive actually it makes me feel strange.

Hey, don't do that in my shoe or I might have to call MisterBugEyes^TM have him come look at you with his bug eyes I don't think I like MisterBugEyes^TM makes me think of a bug with big eyes makes me feel kind of strange.

MisterTurkey^TM ... oh, I'm sorry ... I'm not sure what is your gender ... turkey tender

Do you wanna dancing turkey©?
Don't provoke the dancing turkey©.
Play charades with dancing turkey©.
Came from Russia: dancing turkey©.
Not salami: dancing turkey©.
Captain Kirk^TM loves dancing turkey©!
Arctic bird dance? Dancing turkey©.
Shiny adverb... dancing turkey©.
Touch... the lightbulb.... dancing turkey©...