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I Hate Mosquitos
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Lyrics
I hate mosquitos.
Bam!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
This song is dedicated to the unholy nastiness of mosquitos.
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Mosquito, how I love to hate you.
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Fie on you, wing-ed pestilence.
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Bloodthirsty bug! You give me the willies.
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Mosquito, mosquito you're a most amazing pest.
Mosquito, Mosquito, won't you please just let me rest.
'Cuz you're buzzing around my ear like a fat man at a buffet line.
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Mosquitos: sworn enemy of felines.
I hate mosquitos.
Locked in combat with geriatric gardeners.
I hate mosquitos.
Also, battling the A-team.
I hate mosquitos.
I pity the fool who is a mosquito.
Mosquito, mosquito, you are really not my bud.
Mosquito, mosquito, you are feasting on my blood.
And I swear by my uncle's hair I will smite you with my ninja wrath.
I hate mosquitos.
Mosquito: hated by burly men.
I hate mosquitos.
Also by angry men.
I hate mosquitos.
Also by men who used to be men but who are now teenaged girls.
I hate mosquitos.
They're like all in my Mary Kay bag.
I hate mosquitos.
Get 'em off of me! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!
I hate mosquitos.
I hate 'em!
I hate mosquitos.
I just can't stand 'em any more!
I hate mosquitos.
I'm so sick of the stupid mosquitos!
I hate mosquitos.
Somebody get me a machete, I'm gonna cut them all into pieces!
I hate mosquitos.
They're in the butter! The Butter!
Mosquitos!
Time for you to sing with us!
Ok.
If you're home, or if you're in the car, or if you're at your friends house,
or if you're in the park, or maybe you're out in public just standing on a
street corner listening to our music, it's time for you to sing.
Get everybody around you to sing with you, because it's gonna be fun! Hahahaha.
Alright,
This is what you do,
When I count to three you sing, "I hate mosquitos!"
And if you sing it really loud, No mosquito will ever bother you ever again.
Your whole life!
Sing out loud, singing's fun, singing it good.
Ok, Ready? One, Two, Three!
_ ____ __________, BAM!
Oh, That was good! Now sing it louder this time!
_ ____ __________, BAM!
That's Fun!
_ ____ __________, BAM!
Sing it like you're a monkey on a sugar buzz!
_ ____ __________, BAM!
Now this time, we're gonna sing, and you're gonna do the "Bam"s. Do it like you
hate the mosquitos, cuz those mosquitos are nasty! I HATE THE MOSQUITOS!
Yes, Ok. Good, So, Ready? We'll sing and you do . . . the bam.
(Please do not attempt this while you are driving heavy machinery,
butchering livestock with any kind of sharp blade, or preforming surgery of
any kind. Please do not do this while watching reruns of Melrose Place.
Please do not attempt in at least forty five minutes from eating a meal or
consuming a beverage. Do not attempt if you're name is River or if you're
named after a state or if your name rhymes with "igloo." Citizens of Ohio
must pay the applicable taxes)
One, Two, Three
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Did you do it? Do it! Stronger this time!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
"BAM" as if there's a mosquito right in front of your face!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Feel the burn! Make it sweat!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Mosquito, mosquito, all your buzzes are like taunts
Mosquito, mosquito, you disturb my ambiance
You're the worst thing in the world you're like a politician with no tie and
wings.
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Crush the mosquito!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Bam, with vigor and strength!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Destroy the insect!
I hate mosquitos. Bam!
Kill them! Kill them all!
When I was in the army, we would fight against the mosquitos, and we won!
Because we're better.
I hate mosquitos.
If I were a mosquito I would smash myself.
I hate mosquitos.
They're called mosquitos. But they don't taste like mesquite, trust me.
I hate mosquitos.
Mosquitos: hated by ugly people.
I hate mo--BZZZT!
Notes/Trivia
Marnae "Power Grandma" Wilson and Tim "Itchy" Jones © 2004
Solos by Tim
My mother-in-law made up this goofy tune to sing to my kids, and I couldn't get it out of my head. I added the jazzy bridge verses for live shows. For the recording, we just added a bunch of stuff. Chris's angry-man screaming was completely improvised, and makes me wet myself every time I hear it.
This was the last song completed for the album, and stuff was added in four different studios (five if you count the bug zapper at the very end of the song which was added at Airshow Mastering) (yes that is supposed to be a bug zapper... we looked for a real sound sample to use and couldn't find one, so I did one with my voice, and I'll be darned if it doesn't sound exactly like a lawnmower hitting a gazelle).
This song really is cooler if you sing along. Also, dance along. Also, shed along.
The creepy mosquito guys right before the singalong are a tribute to a goofy flash animation at http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Potato/ - there's a lot of cool 'toons on that web site, and I digs the humor, but some of them are a tad icky so watchit. Not icky immoral, but icky... British. You may want to get familiar with some of the songs (Breadfish, Annoying, magical Trevor) 'cuz they'll probably show up in a show at some point. One of our shows, I mean.