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Jon Boy Jon

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I'm Jon Boy Jon
I'm simple like a possum
I'm John Boy John
My girlfriend thinks I'm awesome

We met at our family reunion
I saw her there by Grandma Claire
I loved her in an instant

And I know I'm plumb out of my head
We are first cousins and the gene pool ain't too deep
And I know our kids'll be inbreed
But I'm in love, and I'm losing sleep

I remember the first time I met 'Lizbeth Daisy Blossom.
My heart went skitter-patter!
And I knew she was the only one for me.
And if I could, I would marry her in a big ol' celebration down at the Super Wal-Mart down at the county line.

But I know it's wrong
And I don't wanna have none of those freakish, webbed-toe blue smurf babies
But, I just can't help it...I just...Well, I...I just...

I love her
But since our moms are sisters
We won't wed
I'll never be her Mister

It's not fair
Our union can't be legal
We'll never date or consummate
'Cause lovin her is wrong...ish

I love her
She loves me

But we're cousins

I'm pathetic Jon Boy Jon


Music by Claude-Michel "I am not a bread" Schönberg copyright © 1987 Alain Boublil Music Ltd. (ASCAP). New lyric by Liz "Sweet Socks" Edmonston. Arr. Tim "Orbit" Jones

Solo by Chris

Liz Edmonston was an actress I did a dinner theater show with in Salt Lake a few years ago. The show we did was "The Phantom Killer" with parodies of Phantom of the Opera songs; my character was Gomer Grunt from Swill County, Kentucky who happened to be able to sing beautifully. Liz's "character" "wrote" this song as a tribute to me (it's a parody of "On My Own" from Les Miz in case you missed that) and I liked it so I stole it. The real me, not my character me. I've sung it around, accompanied by piano, including at my senior recital in 2001.