udder won : Hicksville, pt. 1
(transcribed by Patti for moosebucks!)
It's been seven long years since I went crazy!
And the years 'fore that all seem a little hazy!
Well, I play my washboard and I keep singin'
And a'every time I see you my ears start ringin'
Well I sing like a badger and I dance like lightnin'!
If you see me in meh skivvies then you know it's kinda frightin'
If all I eat is chicken'n'molasses
then why are my intestin's always gasseous?
Oh I play me a cat-gut half a string fiddle
Just listen up all and I'll tell you all a riddle
If I'm the handsomest man ya ever saw,
then why do all the women try ta hit me in the jaw?
Please tell me!
Now that was the first part of our two song medley. Here comes our second song, I hope you enjoy!
(chorus) Will you love me truly darlin' till the day I die?
Will you love me if my face looks like a crusty old cow pie?
Will you love me in the mornin will you love me all night long?
Will you love me even if I sing this really stupid song?
Okay, that's good.
I didn't do much schoolin past the time that I was ten
And my family hasn't owned a book since President Nixon
And my car's out front on cinderblocks and my B.O. is strong
But I'm happy how I'm livin' cause I sing this stupid song.
I may do my taxes wrong but I can sing this stupid song!
Me and all my brothers go out huntin' for raccoons
In the woods and in the hollers by the shinin' of the moon
We don't worry if we lose our way or if our path goes wrong
We just dance around and sing out loud our really stupid song!
Dancin in my leather thong singin out my stupid song!
Now here comes a solo by my brother Zeke.
*high pitched warbling* (gotta get a tunic)
Good solo, Zeke. Now let's hear somethin' from...Cletus.
*panting, dois and yeahs* (gotta get a gluestick) (chorus)
Hit my skull, with a gong, I will sing a stupid song!
Wanna see my rash?
Now my brother, Jimmy-John, is gonna play his stomach.
*bums, hoots, and stomach-playing* (something about a sandwich)
The simple life don't seem too wrong if you can sing a stupid song!
My brother plays a GOOOOOD stomach.
Chorus times four, fades at the end of the fourth.
Tim "Sofa Soldier" Jones © 2005
Performed by The Hicks Brothers: Cletus (bass), Vern (baritone), Jimmy John (2nd tenor), Elmer (lead), and Zeke (1st tenor)
The idea for this song, or rather the first part of this song, came while riding a shuttle bus on the University of Utah campus. ??????. Me neither. Anyway, I did an abbreviated version July 4 2000 with the moosebutter Timpview All-Stars. The song was then sent off to limbo, and like Rubber Monkey, was dusted off for the album. I likes it. The second part, "Stupid Song," spewed from my left nostril one evening at my home (at that time a basement apartment in Orem, Utah) and lay serenely written on the back of an envelope for three years.
The Hicks brothers were brought in for the sake of authenticity, and did an admirable job learning and recording the piece quickly. Unfortunately, they stole every last candle in the studio, and that was AFTER mispronouncing Wolf Blitzer's name as we watched CNN, so we don't know if we'll bring them back to record again.
There was originally supposed to be a third part to the medley, "Welcome to Utah," but for the sake of our global audience I took out the state-specific section. Also, the Hicks couldn't pronounce "Utah." We might do it at a show sometime.